Appreciation: Yes, Flattery: No

I learnt the art of appreciation and its importance from my mother since my childhood. I assure you that it has done wonders for me in my college as well as 34 years of my career life in different roles. The only thing is that appreciation has to be sincere and it should come from the core of one’s heart. Otherwise, it is no more appreciation but flattery.

A sincere appreciation has no motive while flattery has a selfish motive. Appreciation is universally admired and puts the giver at a higher pedestal and the receiver also becomes your admirer while the flattery is universally condemned and the receiver may like it for a moment but shall understand the devious nature of the giver very soon. In the long run, flattery does more harm than good.

Flattery is always shallow and it is ought to fail and it usually does. Flattery will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else. If you are a senior person in an organization, you should always guard yourself from flatterers (Chamchaas in Hindi). The history across the world is replete with stories of rulers and great men who fell from grace when they got intoxicated with plenty of flattery from a few flatterers in their ministry or in proximity. An intelligent boss will quickly find the difference between genuine appreciation and flattery from his subordinates.

So Appreciation: Always and Flattery: Never

We take a lot of care for our children. We get them expensive clothes, costly toys and give them the best of the food as nourishment for their bodies. But have you ever tried to nourish their self-esteem? Most of us ignore and forget to give them kind words of appreciation that would be music for their ears for days, weeks, months and even years. The same holds true for your friends, colleagues and your employees and even your spouse. Your family life will also be much smoother if you follow this art of appreciation, the sincere compliments. There can’t be better nourishment for the self-esteem of anyone than a few words of sincere appreciation.

In our interpersonal relations, we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and they are all hungry for appreciation. One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. Somehow, we neglect to praise our son or daughter, whenever he or she does a good job. We take their minor achievements for granted and wait for big achievements to happen. But big achievements will come only if they are being nourished and motivated even for their baby steps in the right direction. Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval with a word of appreciation and a pat on their back. This is what my mother did beautifully during our childhood.

Honest appreciation will get you results even from very average employees in your organization whereas criticism and ridicule is bound to fail. Under the extreme circumstances, even if you have to reprimand any employee, do it in private. Call him or her to your cabin and blast if required as one of the exceptional show of anger though you may not be actually angry at heart. However, whenever you have to praise someone, do it in public and do it lavishly so that the words of praise for one are known to everybody in the organization and it will motivate others too.

And remember that sincere appreciation is sought after by all: seniors, colleagues and juniors alike. It is a great motivational dose par excellence. But one should never stoop down to flattery because that is short lived and ultimately harmful for the individuals as well as for the organizations.